From Adam_Witten@westtown.edu Mon Dec 8 18:14:32 1997 Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 10:29:40 -0500 From: Adam Witten To: t-witten@uchicago.edu Cc: sid@rainbow.uchicago.edu Subject: Re: Some seinfeld/ wright jokes >___________________________________ > >Yesterday > --------- > Yesterday, > All those backups seemed a waste of pay. > Now my database has gone away. > Oh I believe in yesterday. > > Suddenly, > There's not half the files there used to be, > And there's a milestone hanging over me > The system crashed so suddenly. > > I pushed something wrong > What it was I could not say. > > Now all my data's gone > and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay. > > Yesterday, > The need for back-ups seemed so far away. > I knew my data was all here to stay, > Now I believe in yesterday. >_____________________________________________________________________ > > Eleanor Rigby > ------------- > Eleanor Rigby > Sits at the keyboard > And waits for a line on the screen > Lives in a dream > Waits for a signal > Finding some code > That will make the machine do some more. > What is it for? > > All the lonely users, where do they all come from? > All the lonely users, why does it take so long? > > Guru MacKenzie > Typing the lines of a program that no one will run; > Isn't it fun? > Look at him working, > Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile; > It takes a while... > > All the lonely users, where do they all come from? > All the lonely users, why does it take so long? > > Eleanor Rigby > Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work; > Feels like a jerk. > Guru MacKenzie > Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code; > Nothing will load. > All the lonely users, where do they all come from? > All the lonely users, why does it take so long? > =================================== > > Unix Man > -------- > He's a real UNIX Man > Sitting in his UNIX LAN > Making all his UNIX plans > For nobody. > > Knows the blocksize from du(1) > Cares not where /dev/null goes to > Isn't he a bit like you > And me? > > UNIX Man, please listen(2) > My lpd(8) is missin' > UNIX Man > The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command. > He's as wise as he can be > Uses lex and yacc and C > UNIX Man, can you help me At all? > > UNIX Man, don't worry > Test with time(1), don't hurry UNIX Man > The new kernel boots, just like you had planned. > He's a real UNIX Man Sitting in his UNIX LAN > Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody ... > Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody. > > ================================== > > Write in C ("Let it Be") > ------------------------ > When I find my code in tons of trouble, > Friends and colleagues come to me, > Speaking words of wisdom: > "Write in C." > > As the deadline fast approaches, > And bugs are all that I can see, > Somewhere, someone whispers: > "Write in C." > > Write in C, Write in C, > Write in C, oh, Write in C. > LOGO's dead and buried, > Write in C. > > I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, > For science it worked flawlessly. > Try using it for graphics! > Write in C. > > If you've just spent nearly 30 hours, > Debugging some assembly, > Soon you will be glad to > Write in C. > > Write in C, Write in C, > Write in C, yeah, Write in C. > BASIC's not the answer. > Write in C. > > Write in C, Write in C > Write in C, oh, Write in C. > Pascal won't quite cut it. > Write in C. > > ========================= > > Something > --------- > Something in the way it fails, > Defies the algorithm's logic! > Something in the way it coredumps... > I don't want to leave it now > I'll fix this problem somehow > Somewhere in the memory I know, > A pointer's got to be corrupted. > Stepping in the debugger will show me... > > I don't want to leave it now > I'm too close to leave it now > You're asking me can this code go? > I don't know, I don't know... > What sequence causes it to blow? > I don't know, I don't know... > > Something in the initializing code? > And all I have to do is think of it! > Something in the listing will show me... > I don't want to leave it now > I'll fix this tonight I vow! >